The Programme
WARNING!
Though most programme slots are starting and ending ‘on the hour’, we aim for all items to last until about ten minutes before the hour is up, allowing people time to move to a different room (or to the Bar).
Anything can happen at a Discworld Convention — and anything frequently does! If there are any changes to programme items — times, rooms, or cancellations — they’ll be announced in several ways:
Online
As well as here on the website, you can also access programme information through our brand-spanking new Discworld Convention app for iPhone and Android. This has several advantages over the website or the paper version in the ReadMe - including the ability to create your own schedule, notifications, our twitter feed, a map of the hotel and much more!
Links to download the apps will be published shortly
Television screens
There are television screens in the hotel which will provide useful information throughout the convention. Important announcements will be heralded by a cheery ‘bingley-bingley-beep!’. Please feel free to reply en masse with a rousing chorus of ‘oh, do shut up!’.
Twitter and Facebook
We will be manning (or more likely, womaning) our Twitter (@dwcon) and Facebook feeds throughout the convention, and posting announcements there when necessary.
Ops
Ops will have large posters on display with the programme on them. Also, if you've signed up for a slot at a workshop, a Klatch, the RPG or something else determined by lottery, the results of the draw will be posted outside Ops (and usually outside the room) before the event.
List format | Grid format
Friday Saturday Sunday Monday
Friday
Quiet Room Open
08:30 - 17:30 (9.0 hours)
Brass Neck
The Quiet Room. For those who want to get away from the hustle and bustle of the Convention, and spend some time sitting in a quiet space and recharge.
The View Between the Dancers
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Nanny Ogg's Cottage
Strange visual effects can be seen when you peek between the rocks on the Lancre hillside. Join the Skund Coven in investigating these mysterious effects and have a go at making your own zoetrope, flip-books and stop-motion animation.
Werewolf - The big one
13:30 - 15:30 (2.0 hours)
Lancre Gorge
Mega-werewolf is a multi-village version of the popular game Werewolf where villagers try to discover who among their number might be werewolves while their fellows are being eaten every night by hungry lycanthropes with the added fun of people moving between villages. Is that new villager who joined you a werewolf of not, how do you find out? Come along and join in the fun. If you've never played werewolf before, you are in for a treat!
Tech Team Briefing
14:00 - 15:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Castle
Many hands make lights work. Also cameras, sound, video, the stage…
As has been said many times -- the convention runs on volunteers, and not just for the heating. Some of those volunteers sit, stand, roll and crawl behind the scenes, helping create the magic via their technical witchery. If that sounds like fun, come along to the briefing and you too can help out during the con. No experience necessary, training is provided.
Der Troll's Guide For Der Confused
14:00 - 15:00 (1.0 hour)
Hwel's Playhouse
Attenshun! You look like you need sum guidance to dis Convention an I am da troll what is going to give it to you! Everyone has a first Discworld Convention; and things may initially seem bizarre to you (quack!). You may well have questions. There will also be things to learn that will help you get the most out of the Convention (where Ops is and why you need to go there!). That's where the Troll's Guide comes in.
Chaos Costuming
14:00 - 19:00 (5.0 hours)
Chaos Costuming
Even Chaos has a Pattern
If you venture into "Chaos Costuming", you will find a room full of stuff (1) and a few willing volunteers (2), who will try and assist/guide you towards your desired costume. Note however Chaos is VERY audience participatory, we facilitate, YOU do, sew, glue etc.
As there will be "sharp pointy things" and "hot glue" around, all under 12's should be accompanied by a responsible adult.
(1) Material, old clothing, glue, needles, thread, sewing machines, gaffer tape.
(2) If you can thread a needle, without stabbing yourself (more than once), and enjoy being surrounded by mayhem, please volunteer.
Guild of Cartographers
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Nanny Ogg's Cottage
Join us to learn how to create your own fantasy map!
Gopher & Watch Briefing
15:00 - 15:30 (0.5 hour)
Hwel's Playhouse
If you’ve been a seasoned Gopher or Watchmen, a beginner or just curious to the kind of duties that might be occurring, come along to the no-obligation Gopher & Watch Briefing to meet the Head Gopher and the Captain of the Watch.
Find out what it’s all about, how we are running things and how it’s working for you. Its all very well to say “I was there!”, but so much better to be able to say “I was there and helped make things happen!”
Discworld RPG - Trading Gate Patrol no.1 -
15:30 - 16:30 (1.0 hour)
Magrat's Cottage
A short introductory scenario for the Discworld Roleplay. This is a demonstration game for up to five players, run by author Phil Masters.
Sign-up for this RPG is at Registration or Ops.
This RPG is designed to be suitable for anyone completely new to roleplaying, or to the Discworld RPG.
Inaugural Coven Gathering
15:30 - 16:00 (0.5 hour)
Skund
A time and place to come ask All The Questions of your Coven Leaders, such as "Who are you?" and "What are these Coven things?"
First Aid Briefing
15:30 - 16:00 (0.5 hour)
Hwel's Playhouse
Are you a qualified First Aider who's willing to give a bit of help and support to fellow con attendees? If so please come to this session, with a copy of your first aid certificate, and we'll let you know how it works! Please note: You do need to have a first aid qualification to be an official DW Convention First Aider.
Beat Saber
16:00 - 18:00 (2.0 hours)
Skund
Beat Saber is a virtual reality rhythm game that takes place in a surrealistic neon environment and features the player slicing blocks representing musical beats with a pair of contrasting-colored sabers.
There will be prizes for the highest scores over the weekend.
Queering the Discworld
16:30 - 17:30 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
Since the very first Discworld books, queer/LGBTQ+ fans have seen themselves in the pages. What do we mean when we talk about 'queering the Discworld', and what insights can a queer interpretation of the books offer?
Back to the Drawing Board
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
Nanny Ogg's Cottage
A basic drawing class, using cartoons. Start to create your own version of a Discworld character, beginning with the initial shapes, then developing the drawing and starting to add expression, character and solidity using techniques which can be applied to anything you draw. Drawing experience helpful but not essential!
Diversity and the Discworld
17:30 - 18:30 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
How is Diversity shown in the Disc, and how do people of Diversity relate to it.
A short, open forum with lots of audience interaction that considers just how varied the Denizens of the Disc (in any medium) are and how we identify with their Diversity.
Lodge Meeting
20:30 - 21:30 (1.0 hour)
Magrat's Cottage
This is your chance to join that very exclusive group that goes by the name of "The Ancient And Illustrious Order Of Old Bar Stewards Of Old Ankh-Morepork", an order dedicated to raising money for Charity. You will be inducted into the order and gifted with the secret signs and words by which you can recognise another.
PLEASE be prepared to make TWO donations to charity during the meeting (so far the lodge has raised over £1,500 for charity in 4 meetings). You will also receive a fine certificate and ritual book.
Speed Meetings
20:30 - 21:30 (1.0 hour)
Skund
Would you like to meet more/some/any people?
Aimed at newbies, though is everyone welcome, Sarah Jane will put you in small groups and get you chatting about Discworld and Roundworld nonsense. Then (like in speed dating) you will be swapped around to chat to different groups. The result: everyone will introduce themselves and speak to many other people. Whether you ever wish to speak to them again will be up to you!
Bedtime stories
21:30 - 22:30 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Castle
There is no better way to prepare for bed, or bar, than a cuddly toy and some stories straight from the Discworld. Bring your don’t-tickle-me-Greebo, and your best pyjamas, and join our selection of guests, as they read from their favourite Discworld book to us.
Once more with feeling
23:00 - 00:00 (1.0 hour)
Hwel's Playhouse
What started as an impromptu sing-a-long with random members has now become a DWCON staple. Join Buffy, Giles and the rest of the Scoobies as well as other members to sing and dance* to your hearts content. If you don't know the words we have gotten imps to write them as you should sing them.
*due to an incident at a previous screening all dancing is banned due to fire regulations
Just A Minute After Dark
00:00 - 01:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
As darkness falls, so does the requirement to keep it PG. 60 seconds without hesitation, repetition or deviation.
Just A Minute After Dark may well contain bawdy topics or terrible puns, and is probably – or hopefully, depending on your point of view – not suitable for those of a nervous or junior disposition.
Saturday
Maskerade Rehearsal
08:00 - 12:00 (4.0 hours)
Lancre Castle
All those performing in the ‘Maskerade’ item must attend this rehearsal. This is to make sure every aspect of your performance will go exactly as planned, and to find out essential information about the evening’s entertainment. Time slots can be booked at the Maskerade table at Registration on Friday and only those who have a rehearsal time slot will be allowed to perform.
Meet your Covens: Slice
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Magrat's Cottage
Down among the cities of the Sto Plains, the tiny mountain country of Lancre is the popular image of a remote rural backwater.
In Lancre Town, "the Boondocks" means Slice, a huddle of farmhouses past Razorback and up again from Bad Ass. It lies, therefore, in Granny Weatherwax's territory. The residents of Slice and area are regarded as hillbillies even by the not-very-sophisticated populace of the central region.
Slice and environs contain two notable geographic features- the original Rock and a Hard Place and The Place Where The Sun Does Not Shine (this one is further away than you might expect). You don't want to be caught in between them!
It is also the home of the hat maker Vermissage - whose new collection of safety hats for the witches comes in a fetching shade of orange (the new black apparently) with a chic reflective band. They're as safe as houses and can be seen modeled by many of the village statues and wildlife on a Saturday night.
While they are helping the witches, the coven leaders are, according to granny, two of the best people in slice (population 7). However, they currently have a few extra denizens due to some of the people playing gigs in the area wanting a pizza slice of the action. Playing gigs there toughens people up as noted by "the Great Astoundo, fresh from the Court of Klatch (and Gladys)", being faced with Granny staring at them toughens or breaks them.
The coven welcomes people and creatures of all persuasions with the note of “Please don’t upset our witch. Not because it will annoy her but we don't like the aftershocks.“
Meet Your Covens: Bad Ass
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch I
Witches and villagers of Bad Ass (or Disobedient Donkey to those of a delicate nature): Beware the Gentry!
We've been told by that Nanny Ogg over Lancre town way that they're infiltrating the whole of Lancre and all Covens will need to work together and help hold them off. Us Bad Ass peoples have always been as stubborn as the donkey our patch is named for. We won't take kindly to no Lords and Ladies round here, so come join us defending Lancre from em!'
We are a small but mighty community, which a writer may have described as “as close-knit to the point of a trawlerman's sock, where front doors are only used by brides and corpses and back doors are always left unlocked.” Get signed up to the Bad Ass Coven and we'll send the gentry packing. We've always been right proud of our smithy, so we'll have access to iron aplenty.
Bad Ass people ain't afeared of strange magics as our own little Esk can tell ya, and we'll welcome in any from Lancre or further afield to help our Coven.
Meet Your Covens: Skund
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Klatch II
Immersed in one of the highest magic densities on the Disc, Skund sits in rugged woodlands full of ambulatory trees. With this magical marinade it is perhaps unsurprising that the local coven has, in partnership with the Unseen University's Department of Regional Cross-Cultural Gustatory Studies, launched the Queen Agantia Institute for Magical Gastronomy. (They do very good departmental dinners.)
The Institute welcomes witches, wizards and unaffiliated scholars of any species and vital status. We particularly welcome divers and metallurgical investigators for next summer's research on the Potent Voyager wreck site.
Chaos Costuming
10:00 - 14:00 (4.0 hours)
Chaos Costuming
Even Chaos has a Pattern
If you venture into "Chaos Costuming", you will find a room full of stuff (1) and a few willing volunteers (2), who will try and assist/guide you towards your desired costume. Note however Chaos is VERY audience participatory, we facilitate, YOU do, sew, glue etc.
As there will be "sharp pointy things" and "hot glue" around, all under 12's should be accompanied by a responsible adult.
(1) Material, old clothing, glue, needles, thread, sewing machines, gaffer tape.
(2) If you can thread a needle, without stabbing yourself (more than once), and enjoy being surrounded by mayhem, please volunteer.
Cheery Littlebottom's Guide to Make-Up!
11:00 - 13:00 (2.0 hours)
Lancre Gorge
A basic make-up tutorial for all ages and gender identities, perfect for anyone who just wants to explore make-up but doesn't know where to start. With brushes, eyeshadow and lipstick provided!
The Great Hedgehog Race: Learning the challenge
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Nanny Ogg's Cottage
“Wanted: Men, Dwarfs and Trolls of stout heart to join friendly club with interesting books to read and an interest in the animal kingdom – No prior experience necessary…..Join this 1 in a million chance to do something that will leave you with a warm feeling…..”
Der Troll's Guide For Der Confused
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Hwel's Playhouse
Attenshun! You look like you need sum guidance to dis Convention an I am da troll what is going to give it to you! Everyone has a first Discworld Convention; and things may initially seem bizarre to you (quack!). You may well have questions. There will also be things to learn that will help you get the most out of the Convention (where Ops is and why you need to go there!). That's where the Troll's Guide comes in.
So What Does Tech Do?
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Castle
Tech bring light to dark and sound to silence (usually... sometimes the reverse is true), and help to create mood and emotion.
Do you want to push our buttons [footnote: literally]? Do you want to take a peek behind the scenes and find out how all of this works [footnote: We’re pretty sure we’ve figured this out.]?
Then this is your chance! Come to Lancre Castle, touch the buttons you’re usually not allowed to touch, ask us anything and maybe even join the team.
No experience necessary.
It is still magic once you know how it’s done.
The Lancre Witch Trials
12:00 - 14:00 (2.0 hours)
Skund
The gentry are coming and you must use all your skills as witches to defeat them. Practice those skills in this cross-coven event. We'll have games, physical activities, crafty activities, some silliness and an overall good time. All coven members welcome.
Gopher & Watch Briefing
12:00 - 12:30 (0.5 hour)
Hwel's Playhouse
If you’ve been a seasoned Gopher or Watchmen, a beginner or just curious to the kind of duties that might be occurring, come along to the no-obligation Gopher & Watch Briefing to meet the Head Gopher and the Captain of the Watch.
Find out what it’s all about, how we are running things and how it’s working for you. Its all very well to say “I was there!”, but so much better to be able to say “I was there and helped make things happen!”
First Aid Briefing
12:30 - 13:00 (0.5 hour)
Hwel's Playhouse
Are you a qualified First Aider who's willing to give a bit of help and support to fellow con attendees? If so please come to this session, with a copy of your first aid certificate, and we'll let you know how it works! Please note: You do need to have a first aid qualification to be an official DW Convention First Aider.
Staging Discworld: The Challenges of Dramatising Terry
14:00 - 15:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Castle
Join Stephen Briggs, who has dramatised over 20 of Terry's novels for the amateur stage, as he discusses the challenges of dramatising and staging Terry's Discworld.
25 Years of Discworld Monthly
14:00 - 15:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
An in-depth look at how the popular monthly Discworld Newsletter has survived this long!
For the last 25 years, the team have produced the premier independent newsletter from their humble desks to keep Discworld fans all over the world informed about events, book releases, plays, TV and film adaptations, book tours and much much more.
Editor Jason Rincewind Anthony-Rowlands (yes that is his real middle name) will take you on a whirlwind adventure through time and space to learn about the humble beginnings of Discworld Monthly right up to the present day.
With the chance of some exclusives at this talk, you won't want to miss it.
Beat Saber
14:00 - 16:00 (2.0 hours)
Granny's Cottage
Beat Saber is a virtual reality rhythm game that takes place in a surrealistic neon environment and features the player slicing blocks representing musical beats with a pair of contrasting-colored sabers.
There will be prizes for the highest scores over the weekend.
From Auditors to Zombies: Diversity and Inclusion in Terry Pratchett's Discworld
14:00 - 15:00 (1.0 hour)
Hwel's Playhouse
Pat Harkin Answers The Telephone
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Castle
I had the enormous privilege of being one of Terry's "Greek chorus" to whom he turned when he needed advice. This meant my phone could ring and without warning Terry would ask a question he needed to be answered. This talk describes some of those conversations.
Committee Note: We hope this will be more interesting that it sounds, but the Committee take no responsibility for this item.
A Night at the Discworld Opera
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
Enrico Basilica, Benvenuto Salzella and the Doily Crochet Opera Company present a Special Gala Evening: A Night at the Discworld Opera!
Come to Nanny Ogg's Conservatory* for an opera gala put on by the real Enrico Basilica, Mr. Salzella and friends. We will be presenting highlights of musical culture, and slices of Discworld life, from Fondel, Bloody Stupid Johnson, Offenbach, Rossini and of course Wallonia and Duck. May contain cats.
*Glass not included
Tufts: The Makening
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Nanny Ogg's Cottage
Slice is the home of the renowned hat maker Vermissage, who is wanting to ensure that all denizens of the disc are suitably attired when the time comes for a reckoning. As such workshops will be held within the chaos of costuming for everyone to fashion their own chapeau suitable for entry into Tufts. The secrets of the construction of the latest safety hats for Witches may also be revealed...
Moving Pictures
15:00 - 18:30 (3.5 hours)
Hwel's Playhouse
Featuring 10000 Elephants!
Get your banged grains and watch a selection of Discworld movies running all day!
Chaos Costuming
15:00 - 19:00 (4.0 hours)
Chaos Costuming
Even Chaos has a Pattern
If you venture into "Chaos Costuming", you will find a room full of stuff (1) and a few willing volunteers (2), who will try and assist/guide you towards your desired costume. Note however Chaos is VERY audience participatory, we facilitate, YOU do, sew, glue etc.
As there will be "sharp pointy things" and "hot glue" around, all under 12's should be accompanied by a responsible adult.
(1) Material, old clothing, glue, needles, thread, sewing machines, gaffer tape.
(2) If you can thread a needle, without stabbing yourself (more than once), and enjoy being surrounded by mayhem, please volunteer.
How To Do It All Wrong And Become A Bestseller
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Castle
Join Jodi Taylor as she explains How To Do It All Wrong And Become A Best Seller.
Let's Make a Discworld RPG Character!
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
Phil Masters, the author of the Discworld Roleplaying Game, will work with the audience to create a character for the game.
Llamedos Holiday Camp On Tour
16:00 - 18:00 (2.0 hours)
Nanny Ogg's Cottage
Llamedos Holiday Camp has brought its own sense of shenanigans to the Convention. Whether you are a seasoned camper or have never been, the team will transport you there for a taster of all things Llamedos. Presented by their Discworld famous Purplecoats, this event is bound to be a riot of laughter and fun.
The Necessity of Evil
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Castle
The Necessity of Evil is a panel discussion led by Dr Hix with Ben Aaronovitch, Jodi Taylor, Alistair Lavers and Jonny Nexus, where we will be discussing the necessity of evil within storytelling, of how bad do you have to make your villain and whether it is possible to tell stories without evil at all.
Does Dark Matter Exist?
18:00 - 19:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
Cosmologists tell us that 85% of the matter in the universe is 'dark'; that is, different from ordinary 'baryonic' matter. The evidence for this is indirect, based on motions of stars and galaxies that appear to be inconsistent with the effects of ordinary matter. However, no proposed candidate particle for dark matter has yet been found, despite tens of billions of dollars invested in looking. Could the real reason be that our current theory of gravity is wrong? Or, worse, that cosmologists have been using the wrong mathematical models?
Tea Duelling
19:30 - 20:30 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
Join us for a beginner's session of Tea Duelling. Learn the basics of competitive biscuit dunking using The Articles of The Honourable Association of Tea Duellists, 3rd Edition 1899. A nice chuckle for the seasoned duellist, a good tooth cutter for newbies. Malted Milks and Tea provided. Make sure to submit your grievances to duel over in advance to MartiSterin@gmail.com (remember to keep it clean as kids will be present).
Maskerade
20:00 - 22:00 (2.0 hours)
Lancre Castle
Join us for a night of entertainment provided by your fellow con-goers as they compete for the honour of winning the coveted Maskerade ‘Best in Show’ Trophy. There are several categories to compete in with fabulous costumes and Pat Harkin guaranteed.
Maskerade Break
22:00 - 22:30 (0.5 hour)
Lancre Castle
This isn't an ordinary interval! Enjoy the talents of the Covens whilst the judges leave to deliberate. This (probably) rehearsed item will keep you all going whilst you wait.
The Hedgehog Party
22:00 - 02:00 (4.0 hours)
Lancre Gorge
The Hedgehog Party started out as a birthday celebration for the alt.fan.pratchett usenet group, and was so successful it became the Convention's standing party, or the best place to let your hair loose and take off your Pointy Hat on a Convention Saturday night!
The party often involves strange and wonderful foodstuffs and drinks from all over the Disc, as well as some strange concoctions no sane man should drink but plenty do... In short, everyone is welcome to join, and if you have a strange food item or drink you wish to inflict on others, do bring it along!
Maskerade & Weapons photo shoot
22:00 - 23:00 (1.0 hour)
Granny's Cottage
You’ve seen them perform... now it’s your chance to grab iconographs of our Maskerade stars. An opportunity for iconographers to get some great shots, and for Maskerade entrants to be painted by a variety of imps.
Maskerade entrants and iconographers are invited to attend as soon as the Maskerade is finished.
Maskerade - Results
22:30 - 23:30 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Castle
The moment everyone has been waiting for - the announcement of the results from the Maskerade judging! Who will be lifting the trophy for 2022?
Sunday
Caroc Cards, Candle Wax and Cheese: Weird ways of predicting the future.
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
People have always wanted to know their future and have used many different ways to predict it. These can be the well-known methods of runes, tarot cards etc, but there are many less talked about methods.
Elaine will be demonstrating some of the more unusual types of divination found on the Round world as well as the Discworld, including a reading with a set of Caroc cards.
Elaine Perkins has been researching divination and reading runes for more years than she likes to admit and is descended from a long line of witches.
Church of Om - Sectsual Healing
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Skund
Please join us for a visit from Father Grin-Benevolently-But-Knowingly-At-Passing-Sinners and the Church of Om's Outreach Department, bringing a Service of Healing to Lancre and exploring the quaint ethnic folkways of the local primitive hedge wisewomen who will perform their rude rituals. We are led to understand that one Gytha Ogg has some particularly rude knowledge in her hedge. As always we will be praising Om through ritual, song and heathen conversion *ahem* exploratory interfaith dialogue.
Moving Pictures
10:00 - 22:00 (12.0 hours)
Hwel's Playhouse
Featuring 10000 Elephants!
Get your banged grains and watch a selection of Discworld movies running all day!
Chaos Costuming
10:00 - 14:00 (4.0 hours)
Chaos Costuming
Even Chaos has a Pattern
If you venture into "Chaos Costuming", you will find a room full of stuff (1) and a few willing volunteers (2), who will try and assist/guide you towards your desired costume. Note however Chaos is VERY audience participatory, we facilitate, YOU do, sew, glue etc.
As there will be "sharp pointy things" and "hot glue" around, all under 12's should be accompanied by a responsible adult.
(1) Material, old clothing, glue, needles, thread, sewing machines, gaffer tape.
(2) If you can thread a needle, without stabbing yourself (more than once), and enjoy being surrounded by mayhem, please volunteer.
Charity Auction
10:30 - 13:00 (2.5 hours)
Lancre Castle
Ever wondered what happens when the Thieves' Guild members go over their quota?
Well wonder no more. All items that are procured via going over quota by the Thieves' Guild are handed over for redistribution.
The Patrician thought that might be an ideal solution. So he ordered the formation of the Guild of Auctioneers, Auctionettes and Auction Managers with the aim to sell these items to the highest bidder and redistribute the wealth to the charities chosen by the Convention they are attending.
The auction isn't just for buying things, the Auctionettes have all been schooled in various ways of presentation and this often is just as amusing as the items they are parading around the room.
The head Auctioneer Pat Harkin will be at the front making sure you empty your wallet for a selection of items that are as eclectic as they are rare.
Please remember your bidding paddle from your membership pack otherwise you will be issued with a Paddle of Shame and of course, your bulging wallet.
Morris For The Uninitiated
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Granny's Cottage
An introduction to Border Morris, This is your chance to learn a simple modern Border dance, and maybe a traditional one as well.
The Great Hedgehog Race: Crafting Time
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Nanny Ogg's Cottage
So, you have been creative so far. Perhaps already glued yourself to a chair, or accidentally stapled yourself to the floor.
And maybe you even had a cunning plan before the unfortunate incident.
If you are joining in with the The Great Hedgehog Race, this is the place to be if you want to know if your plan is bringing you in the right direction.
Advanced Borrowing: Bees Mean Hives
11:30 - 12:30 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
Why is it so difficult to Borrow bees? What is the hivemind? And how does this work on Roundworld? Join Debi Linton as she gives an overview of the superorganism, from eusocial insects to the Gaia hypothesis, and asks the question: do individuals even exist?
Morris For The Initiated
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
Granny's Cottage
This is your opportunity to learn a fun but challenging version of a modern Border dance. Participants need to be reasonably fit and ideally have some experience of either Morris or Ceilidh dancing.
Tufts: Agility Challenge
12:00 - 13:00 (1.0 hour)
Skund
A great hat has to not only look good, it has to stand up to the rigours of Slice. Can you lead your hat safely around the Toque Gear course in the fastest time without incurring any penalties (or incurring Granny's wrath).
Just A Minute
12:30 - 13:30 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
In this time-honoured DWCon tradition, four contestants are challenged to speak for 60 seconds without hesitation, deviation or repetition.
How Bad Ass Got Its Name
13:00 - 14:00 (1.0 hour)
Skund
Gather round and hear the tale of how Bad Ass got its name. Listen to the exploits of the donkey our wonderful town is named after, and quake at its behaviour. Finally, as actual cruelty to animals is terrible and unwitchly, we shall observe an effigy of the donkey and apply discipline... with a stick
Charity Auction - Collection
13:30 - 15:00 (1.5 hours)
Lancre Castle
You did it! You managed to win an item in the Charity Auction, despite the fierce competition.
Here is where you get to pay, collect your goodies, walk off with them, drag them to your lair - and sleep on it. Preferably in that order
Please ensure that you physically collect them. We don't want to repeat the Unfortunate Coffin incident of 2010.
Guild of Cartographers
13:30 - 14:30 (1.0 hour)
Nanny Ogg's Cottage
Join us to learn how to create your own fantasy map!
"The Skund Enigma" - A Discworld Roleplaying Game Scenario for Five Players
13:30 - 17:30 (4.0 hours)
Magrat's Cottage
A Discworld Roleplaying Game demonstration game for up to five players, run by author Phil Masters.
Sign-up for this RPG can happen at Registration or Ops.
How to write a biography of Terry Pratchett with Marc Burrows (unauthorised version)
14:00 - 15:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
Beat Saber
14:00 - 16:00 (2.0 hours)
Skund
Beat Saber is a virtual reality rhythm game that takes place in a surrealistic neon environment and features the player slicing blocks representing musical beats with a pair of contrasting-colored sabers.
There will be prizes for the highest scores over the weekend.
Ben Aaronovitch's Exceedingly Long Question and Answer Session
15:00 - 16:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Castle
Come and join Ben Aaronovitch for his Exceedingly Long Question and Answer Session.
Chaos Costuming
15:00 - 18:00 (3.0 hours)
Chaos Costuming
Even Chaos has a Pattern
If you venture into "Chaos Costuming", you will find a room full of stuff (1) and a few willing volunteers (2), who will try and assist/guide you towards your desired costume. Note however Chaos is VERY audience participatory, we facilitate, YOU do, sew, glue etc.
As there will be "sharp pointy things" and "hot glue" around, all under 12's should be accompanied by a responsible adult.
(1) Material, old clothing, glue, needles, thread, sewing machines, gaffer tape.
(2) If you can thread a needle, without stabbing yourself (more than once), and enjoy being surrounded by mayhem, please volunteer.
The Great Hedgehog Race: Crafting Time - Part Two
16:30 - 17:30 (1.0 hour)
Nanny Ogg's Cottage
So, you have been creative so far. Perhaps already glued yourself to a chair, or accidentally stapled yourself to the floor.
And maybe you even had a cunning plan before the unfortunate incident.
If you are joining in with the The Great Hedgehog Race, this is the place to be if you want to know if your plan is bringing you in the right direction.
Pre Wedding Breakfast Drinks
18:00 - 18:30 (0.5 hour)
Lancre Castle
Join us* for a tipple before dinner.
* Pre-Booked tickets only
The Street Party
19:00 - 23:00 (4.0 hours)
Lancre Castle
The wonderful Landlady herself (Kirstine) will be hosting a fabulous Street Party with games, giggles and candy floss! Festivities shall take place in Lancre Castle grounds, and will encompass a wide variety of diversions to Delight All Ages, including Nanny Ogg's Bran Tub, a man with weasels down his trousers, and much more. Attendees are both welcomed and encouraged to bring their own board or card games to liven up the party further.
The Wedding Breakfast (Gala Dinner)
19:00 - 22:00 (3.0 hours)
Lancre Gorge
Join us* in celebrating the wedding of King Verence II of Lancre and Magrat Garlick, with a grand three-course banquet with accompanying entertainment.
* Pre-Booked tickets only
Toast and Jam
20:00 - 02:00 (6.0 hours)
Skund
Our traditional open mic music night, in which convention members entertain each other with all things vocal and instrumental. Your instruments optional; less optional the more obscure you want to be.
Early joiners are marvellous, but we also love the influx when the Gala Dinner finishes, or any other time.
Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
23:00 - 00:00 (1.0 hour)
Hwel's Playhouse
What was supposed to be a one off screening was brought back the following con after threats*. It grew in popularity and the rest as they say is geography** So grab you Evil League of Evil uniforms, practice your evil laugh and join us whilst we sing to evil deeds
*Completely non-violent but still causes nightmares
** ConCom-Don't you mean history? Don't change the subject
Monday
Disappointments of The Watch
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
Since it was initially announced at the convention in 2012, the BBC series based on The Watch had been eagerly anticipated by Discworld fans. However, once casting decisions were announced a sense of trepidation began circulating, to the extent that many fans simply boycotted the series, while others watched the series with disdain, confusion or disappointment.
This talk will use some of Dr Eve Smith's favourite media and reception theories combined with social media analysis to critically explore some of the issues that led to a general sense of disappointment among Discworld fans.
Rather than just “hating” The Watch, the aim is to consider why so many fans felt the way they did, with a view to exploring what we cherish and what we felt was lost in this adaptation.
The Great Hedgehog Race: Finale
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Nanny Ogg's Cottage
This is it; your time to shine! Or is it perhaps your time to burn, shrivel and crumble.
If you spend time this week-end to craft in the Great Hedgehog Race, this is where you show off all the hard work.
Did you spend time doing other things? Great, then you will much appreciate the spectacle of seeing other peoples hard work in action!
Guards! Guards! Live Action Game
10:00 - 11:00 (1.0 hour)
Skund
Those damn pointy hats at Unseen University have misplaced their eight Great Spells. Again! Now, it’s up to the watch, and the helpful volunteers amongst Ankh-Morpork’s citizenry, to find them.
A live version of the Guards! Guards! game created by Backspindle
Memories of Jack Cohen
11:00 - 11:30 (0.5 hour)
Lancre Gorge
Jack Cohen, always a popular participant at DWcon and other SF cons, died in May 2019. Discworld fans will know him as one of the three coauthors of the Science of Discworld books. Jack and I also collaborated on several other books and projects. Jack being Jack, there are many funny stories about his activities. I will share some of them in his memory, so that he can be present in spirit at the con.
Discworld RPG - Trading Gate Patrol no.1 -
11:00 - 12:00 (1.0 hour)
Magrat's Cottage
A short introductory scenario for the Discworld Roleplay. This is a demonstration game for up to five players, run by author Phil Masters.
Sign-up for this RPG is at Registration or Ops.
This RPG is designed to be suitable for anyone completely new to roleplaying, or to the Discworld RPG.
Guild of Cartographers
11:30 - 12:30 (1.0 hour)
Nanny Ogg's Cottage
Join us to learn how to create your own fantasy map!
The Play
13:00 - 15:00 (2.0 hours)
Lancre Castle
Come long and enjoy the Convention's latest theatrical offering... There may be some audience participation!
This show uses flashing lights and rhythmic music. Audience members with sensory/processing sensitivity may wish to consider whether they want to attend.
Beat Saber
15:00 - 17:00 (2.0 hours)
Skund
Beat Saber is a virtual reality rhythm game that takes place in a surrealistic neon environment and features the player slicing blocks representing musical beats with a pair of contrasting-colored sabers.
There will be prizes for the highest scores over the weekend.
So you think you can do it better?
16:00 - 17:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Gorge
We really hope you enjoyed the Convention up until now, but we also always try and improve how we do things. This is your chance to tell us of any issues you encountered, or of any ideas you have to improve the Convention as a whole.
Bonus points if you have a good suggestion on how to keep those pesky elves out for good!
Closing Ceremony
17:00 - 18:00 (1.0 hour)
Lancre Castle
It is time for important announcements, What Happens Next and also who has won prizes. Join us to officially end the 2022 Convention and to say goodbye and thank you
Dead Monkey Party Parade
18:00 - 18:30 (0.5 hour)
The Goat & Bush
A proud and ancient tradition since 2008, the Dead Monkey Parade musters the regiments for the (usually) biennial grand parade to the Dead Monkey Party. Dress uniforms of any kind welcome but not required. If you play an instrument that is remotely compatible with a marching band, by all means bring it - particularly if you know the Colonel Bogey march.
Dead Monkey Party
18:30 - 23:30 (5.0 hours)
The Goat & Bush
The closing ceremony has been and gone. The Wedding Party has ended, the witches have gone back to their cottages and we return to real life. Or that's the theory, at least.
For those still awake, there's always the night shift. The Dead Monkey Party is the traditional rude gesture to the idea of packing one's metaphorical toys away, and is usually certain to involve much music, snacks and nonsense. Expect leftover sweets from other parties, pelvic thrusts that really drive you insaaaaaane, and much sleep-deprived rambling.