The Covens of Lancre

24 April 2022

by Roy Ayres

The Covens of the Country of Lancre

Lancre has three main covens to lead the resistance to the threat of the Lords and Ladies:

All three welcome new recruits and promise an interesting and fulfilling experience during the Convention. Their rivalry is friendly but real - there is no way to know which will be acclaimed the most effective until the Convention reaches its climax. Which one will you support?

 Every member has been preassigned to one of three Covens. We should stress that this is in no way binding - taking over the world is optional; and if you do decide to take part, you can select a different Coven at any time before the Convention, or join the Coven of your choosing at an event on opening day of the Convention.

If you want to switch to another Coven, or indeed if you want to opt-out and not be in a secret society at all, you can choose by going to the section at the bottom of your Membership Overview page.

The Bad Ass Coven

The Bad Ass Coven is led by Probably Rachel and Shivers. When interviewed in the snug of the Goat and Compass, this is what they had to say:

“Witches and villagers of Bad Ass (or Disobedient Donkey to those of a delicate nature): Beware the Gentry!

We've been told by that Nanny Ogg over Lancre town way that they're infiltrating the whole of Lancre and all Covens will need to work together and help hold them off. Us Bad Ass peoples have always been as stubborn as the donkey our patch is named for. We won't take kindly to no Lords and Ladies round here, so come join us defending Lancre from em!'

We are a small but mighty community, which a writer may have described as “as close-knit to the point of a trawlerman's sock, where front doors are only used by brides and corpses and back doors are always left unlocked.” Get signed up to the Bad Ass Coven and we'll send the gentry packing. We've always been right proud of our smithy, so we'll have access to iron aplenty.

Bad Ass people ain't afeared of strange magics as our own little Esk can tell ya, and we'll welcome in any from Lancre or further afield to help our Coven.”

The Skund Coven

The Skund Coven is led by Torak and Essy, who interrupted their planning dinner at their newly-formed Institute to give us a leaflet:

“Immersed in one of the highest magic densities on the Disc, Skund sits in rugged woodlands full of ambulatory trees. With this magical marinade it is perhaps unsurprising that the local coven has, in partnership with the Unseen University's Department of Regional Cross-Cultural Gustatory Studies, launched the Queen Agantia Institute for Magical Gastronomy. (They do very good departmental dinners.)

The Institute welcomes witches, wizards and unaffiliated scholars of any species and vital status. We particularly welcome divers and metallurgical investigators for next summer's research on the Potent Voyager wreck site.”

The Slice Coven

The Slice Coven is led by Feyd and Batty, who took time from the launch of their new range of safety hats for witches to explain:

“Down among the cities of the Sto Plains, the tiny mountain country of Lancre is the popular image of a remote rural backwater.

In Lancre Town, "the Boondocks" means Slice, a huddle of farmhouses past Razorback and up again from Bad Ass. It lies, therefore, in Granny Weatherwax's territory. The residents of Slice and area are regarded as hillbillies even by the not-very-sophisticated populace of the central region.

Slice and environs contain two notable geographic features- the original Rock and a Hard Place and The Place Where The Sun Does Not Shine (this one is further away than you might expect). You don't want to be caught in between them!

It is also the home of the hat maker Vermissage - whose new collection of safety hats for the witches comes in a fetching shade of orange (the new black apparently) with a chic reflective band. They're as safe as houses and can be seen modeled by many of the village statues and wildlife on a Saturday night.

While they are helping the witches, the coven leaders are, according to granny, two of the best people in slice (population 7). However, they currently have a few extra denizens due to some of the people playing gigs in the area wanting a pizza slice of the action. Playing gigs there toughens people up as noted by "the Great Astoundo, fresh from the Court of Klatch (and Gladys)", being faced with Granny staring at them toughens or breaks them.

The coven welcomes people and creatures of all persuasions with the note of “Please don’t upset our witch. Not because it will annoy her but we don't like the aftershocks.””